DAVID BECKHAM COVER(S) UP

I know I promised you “Fright Night”, a haunted house filled with blood thirsty creatures roaming around during full moon, causing goose bumps, palpation and sweaty palms to every living soul. 

Unfortunately, this has to wait till the next time!  Something else came up and I need to get the following off my chest first. I am a woman- changing my mind / my script / or my intention is part of the gender description!

What or who spooked me? My de-railing comes in the form of Mr. Eye Candy, David Beckham.

Personally, I like his looks and I love the idea of him being a devoted (?), progressive father. Anyway, I spotted his latest picture in his undies for the H&M campaign (you’ve seen the one, taken by tourists in the tour bus?). This alone caused my housewife brain to go into overdrive.  Then I picked up a dated edition of “Hello’ magazine during my holy hour at the library! Here he is again, Mr. Handsome, besotted father with his daughter in his arms. I can’t remember the quote exactly, but it went something like this:

“Now that I have a daughter I can’t run around half dressed anymore”

Or did he actually say “naked”? Or was it “…in my boxer shorts anymore”?

Is he joking? Or does a prude lurk inside this well chiselled, well camouflaged body of his?

If this is the truth can I make the assumption that his three boys have never seen Victoria in her Eve costume? (This should read “Adams costume” actually. But you will only get this pun if you know her maiden name)!  

For Goodness sake David, get real! Your daughter has three brothers. Sooner or later, at one occasion or another, she will find out what that dangly thingy is you guys have and we girls don’t.

Of course, it is your own business how to bring up your children!  But wouldn’t you agree that it is much easier to let it all ‘hang out’ or simply grin and bear it – at least in your own home?  Confined to your own four walls? Let’s face it: If you can’t run around naked within your own four walls, where else can you?  And if you do, look what happened to the future Queen of England.

 If your children won’t see their own parents naked – how else will they learn about the small differences?  Where else should their see it or learn from? At their friends house (I hope not!), on TV (most likely), at a peep-show (Holy C.., better late than never?), on the beach (you have some explaining to do right there and then) or in some books and magazines (probably the safest bet).

As for me, I whole heartedly support the ‘no secret’ policy! –  That’s what we did (and still do?) in Germany.

My three boys know how I look like.  I never made a big deal about it. And the result?  They don’t really care about this whole subject on being nude!

 Do you agree? Is this part of being extra-ordinary? To me it is!

On this note, I wonder what is going on in Madonna’s house!

Happy to hear from you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Olympic Glory VS White Trailer Trash

What do they both have in common?

They both represent the best and worse in their chosen field!           

olympic games

Olympic season is upon  us!

  First observation:

  What a perfect opportunity for everybody in the retail and hospitality industry to dress up their old offerings in the spirit of the games and to sell them with the title “excellent ” attached to it.       Further more, columnists at various publications are taking advantage of the event to add their pearls of wisdom.                                                                                                                                      Just like my favourite guy from our local Maple Ridge Weekly.                                                                                                                               On first sight it was funny when I read about “my new relationship with our new plasma TV”, or “leaving the house only to stock up on beer and necessary food items (i.e. tortilla chips and dips).”

    At second glance, not funny at all.                                                                                                                                            As a general rule, we (writers) have to relate to our readers – even if it means to put ourselves down at times.                                                                                                       Depending on the topic we are writing about this can be quite funny indeed.                                                                                                                            Let me get this straight: My favourite columnists sits on his butt for days on end, watches the best of the best the world has to offer and is happy and content to portray himself as a tortilla -chip- munching- couch potato? What is wrong with him? Why isn’t he inspired and motivated by the excellence he watches for hours every day? (or he is a very clever man indeed: he only pretends to behave like many of his readers).

Too many bags of greasy nibbles mixed with  liquor leads me to my second observation:                                                                                                                            My first encounter (in our new home country ) with the less desirable face of modern civilization – the opposite end of excellence: trailer trash!

    Yes, we spotted and experienced them first hand right here at the local swimming hole!                                                                                                                                    I am born and bred European – I can testify we (Europeans)are quite open minded and tolerant towards certain topics. I.e.  I am no stranger to the concept of e.g.the legal use of  marijuana, gay marriage, nude beaches, a low drinking age (16 is the common age to drink beer in most European countries) or pornographic publications.                                                                                                                     Under normal circumstances pierced body parts or excessively tattooed body sections leave me stone cold.      A dress too tight or too small squeezed over too much body flubber may get a second look from me at the most- but no more.                                                                              Cheap wine straight from the bottle can be fun or even romantic.                                      Loud conversations are annoying but could be entertaining – sometimes.                                                                                                                                            A kiss among lovers is not worth mentioning.                                                            Tolerance turns into raised eybrows  when I have to witness                                        excessive french kissing in a public place.  I get embarrassed when obscene, very suggestive, sexual moves are added to the french kiss (still in front of my eyes – and I couldn’t leave. The exit was blocked).                                                                                                                                    I I can’t take it when cheap wine is the reason for loud, vulgar, rude conversation and I get severely pissed when fat, loud and vulgar mixes together!

Dear visitors to the swimming hole: “Behave like this at home but not in front of me and my children!”    In this instance I wished these folks had read the column of my favourite columnist and followed his example: stay at home with your cheap wine, do your french thing on the couch and leave the TV on for some Olympic highlights. You might catch a glimpse of excellence and inspiration!                                                                                             I sincerely hope there is  extra-ordinary in all us!                                                                                                                                  Oh, I nearly forgot: I prefer to get inspired- and I try to live my life to prove it!

P.S. abdominals are getting better by the day! Upper arms are still shaping up and the book? I will tell you next time!

MONEY doesn’t buy you HAPPINESS…

but it does buy you bacon!

I saw this on the back of a – you guessed it – bacon truck!

It made me chuckle. I thought it was so witty, funny and innovative!

When I shared my new found nirvana for advertisements ( delivery trucks) with my husband, he felt sorry for me!                                                                                    Okay,to like this slogan says more about my simple taste and the mondane than anything else. It obviously doesn’t take much to impress me…

Dominic left his home, the USA, over twenty years ago. He escaped this ‘clever play on words’ just to be bombarded by it again on his return to North America.                Imagine his surprise when he discovered  NOTHING HAS CHANGED in all the years.  The ‘dumbing down of the masses’continued. If that isn’t bad enough, his own wife seems to actually be enjoying every single, stupid ad (“Beauty is in the eye of the Beerholder” ) out there.

But come to think of it: If Every business does its own clever, funny and witty advertisment – how can they stand out from the crowd?                                           If every business offers the same e.g. convenient opening hours (even 24/7), easy accessibility and parking, and same kick-ass service- what makes this business so special?                                                                                                                                               WHAT does it take for you and / or a business to become and stay extra-ordinary?

When everything and everybody wants to fit in it comes down to only one item which is truley unique:

You, yourself & you!     Amazing individuals help to make a business stand out from the rest.

On a personal level it amazes me to discover that people are dumb smacked, overjoyed or even surprised whenever I return the promissed phone call or deliver on the promise I made! It is so simple:

Know who you are and be true to yourself! Always do what you say and be true to your word!

Quick change of subject and a follow up on my current mission in life:

My much loved and pride of the stomach, the 6-pack is back in sight! The layer of contentment (fat) is shrinking!  Hurrah!

The weights are doing their trick and difinition of the upper arms is back in sight!

And finally, I am only two days away from pushing the SEND button on the computer to deliver the manuscript to my publisher!

As the final days approach, I am reminded of the universal  rule,                                      if you want to make changes in your life you have to make it happen!

Because they won’t happen on its own!                                                                           And on a final note, one thing is for sure:

Money may not buy you happiness, but it does help you to bring home the bacon!