HELP! I NEED ANOTHER HUSBAND

Only dairy farmers or bakers need to apply!

The successful candidate must be able to supply an endless amount of dairy products – preferable milk – and baked goods; staked high to satisfy the ongoing hunger of four teenage boys.

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I honestly thought buying nappies, formula milk or baby food in jars was bad enough. Years later comes the rude awakening: Our children changed from the cute, chubby, helpless little creatures into independent, strong willed, still cute (but different cute) young men, with a huge appetite!

Our new house came with one fridge and skinny freezer only. The boys empty them at a faster rate than I can restock them!

Yesterday it was full, today it is empty!

These days you can find me either on the way to the grocery store, in the grocery store or on my way home. Once at home I get ready to bake muffins, cookies, brownies or pancakes. I even took up yoghurt making.

Joey, our Korean exchange student, can eat for three! Furthermore, he literally drinks our ketchup bottles empty; he fears Heinz will stop producing them shortly.  At first I thought he doesn’t like my cooking because he puts the sauce on everything. But even I have to admit,  my cooking isn’t that bad either;  Joey simply loves the taste of ketchup.

The two most common questions I have to answer on a regular basis are: “When are we eating dinner?” and “What are we eating later on?”  Of course, there is nothing wrong with being asked these questions, it’s just very frustrating to answer them right after the boys wolved down their afternoon meal of French toast or toasties (melted cheese).

If Dominic agrees to change our marital status from ‘couple’ to ‘quadruple’, I will search for a legitimate religious order which allows women to have three men. If the google search will be unsuccessful I need to settle this matter once and for all: I am sure there will be another mid-term sale coming up soon and I will get myself a bread maker, a waffle iron, an ice-cream maker, a second fridge and freezer, big sacks of flour and a cow for the backyard.

Right now a song pops into my head. The one where Marilyn Monroe sings about “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend”. Easy for her to sing, she never had children….

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4 thoughts on “HELP! I NEED ANOTHER HUSBAND

  1. working part time at Cobs will take care of the bakers part! You should apply. I get to bring home a ridiculous amount of stuff.

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