Written by Miss Kitty, Suburbanville, BC, Canada
Here she is, my first guest contributor: Miss Kitty!
She is a self proclaimed expert in the field of cosmetics and beauty products! This is something I don’t know much about and therefore her assignment was simple: What are the hottest items on the market for both men and women at the moment?
But as you can read, Kitty had something else on her mind!
Loss of libido is a common thing that happens to many women in long-term relationships. Forty three percent of us have experienced this at some point in our lives. As you’re reading this right now, I’m willing to bet that the majority of you would prefer a nice glass of wine and a hot bath to a romp in the sack most nights.
The question is: Why does this happen? I know that when I was in my twenties, (With far less of a hectic lifestyle) I couldn’t wait to play a game of “hide the sausage”. My sex drive was turbo charged. I thought about sex more often and was insatiable in my partner’s opinion. In fact in all of my relationships before I met my husband were like that.
So in spite of thinking that I know what has turned me off sex, why are so many other women in the same position?
Children, pre-imenopause, medication, and stress can transgress into a loss of libido while emotions are usually the culprit for younger women. When I was younger with my first real lover, he messed around with some bimbo in our parking lot. I was so angry and hurt that things were never quite the same after that. I kept analyzing all of the things about him that turned me off.
Moving forward ten years, my libido went into a complete funk after my son was born. I poured all of my emotion and affection onto him as I grew up in a very non- demonstrative family. Five years later when my daughter was born it became even worse, the thought of sex just seemed way too much of an effort and time consuming. Days were long and hectic with a full time job and having two young children. When I got home, I just wanted to relax and not have to think about pleasing another person.
When the physical side starts to fizzle in many relationships, the person who is wanting more activity in the bedroom, usually then will start lashing out, possibly having affairs, or think about leaving the relationship. Many of our couple friends in the last year split, a few had affairs, and some acquaintances even started swinging!
Not that I’m into that kind of thing, but I can only imagine that if I tried it, I’d end up with a balding guy with a ponytail and bad breath! Nope, not my bag, but it seems to work for some people! Honestly though I don’t really know the answer. Because so many women that I know in long term relationships feel the same way, I wonder if mojo just fizzles out after seven years or so. The famous seven year itch…
Some women have had success with hormone therapy and have lit the sheets on fire once again, but am I on to something when I say that human beings just aren’t meant to be monogamous?
Signing off, Miss Kitty!
Hello again, this is Christina writing! With this note I like to say a big “Thank You” to Kitty for sharing her ‘dilema’with us! Here is my thought: Isn’t it sad that sex in a long term relationship is the (extra-ordinary) exception and not the norm? Having sex should be like ageing: The older we get the better we become!? Just a thought…